By Mical Imbukwa

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis

That moment when you find someone who sees beyond your dark skin. That person who sees through the tears in your smile. That person who comprehensively reads the deep messages in your silence. That person who sticks with you even on a stormy day. The one who gets underneath your skin and blends with your actual self. Look no further. You found a friend.

They cry when you cry. Your smile is their smile. When you achieve, they in all honesty shout loudest to the world about it. Fixing crowns is more important to them than smearing mad. Competition? No! They complement. In their prayers, you feature more than they can remember. They are not just friends. They are family. Do you have these treasures in your life?

Oh wait..Are you doubting that such friendships exist? Why? Is it because you are nursing a heartbreak right now? That friend you loved with all your heart and soul just ditched you. The one you sacrificed so much of your time for. Did you even let go an opportunity for their sake? Oh darling..a huge heart you got❤️.

Did you even loose count of the number of times you fixed their crowns? How many times did they do the same for you? Once? Twice? Never? Oh that a tear I see in your eye? It hurts that they didn’t really value you, right? But actually did this friendship you shared for years end? Did you commit such a grave mistake that they decided to cut you off just like that? Without hearing you out. Without closure. So disrespectful, right?

Darling..listen to me. You did your best and that is what matters. If your best was not good enough for them, that is their problem. Not yours. Or maybe, you outgrew each other and that is very okay. Maybe they got enough of what they wanted from you. Still okay. Maybe their purpose in your life was to teach you a particular lesson. Pick the lessons and move on. Don’t waste your time sulking. Why wrinkle your face over broken bridges that can’t be fixed?

Mend your fences. Built stronger boundaries that can’t be crossed. Listen…focus on yourself more. There is a better place you should transfer that love you dish out to ungrateful souls and that is on yourself. You see when you think of yourself in the beautiful way you think of others, you will blossom. When you transfer the love you shower to others on yourself, you will definitely strike a balance. You won’t drain the deposits in your emotional bank account and you won’t drain the ones in other people’s accounts either.

When you value yourself more, the value others attach on your friendship will increase. You will shed of energy vampires and attract energy boosters. You will attract more complementers and less negative competitors.The Emotional blackmailers will be blocked from your life. Narcistic tendencies too will be cut off. You were what you yearned to see in others and synergy finally happened.

Darling…invest in yourself more and you will be surprised at how beautiful your friendships will become. Yes…true friendships exist and they are found when the fence of devaluing oneself is cut off!

Value yourself more darling❤️

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